Sunday, October 28, 2007

A CRACKED WELCOME

When I moved to this 1920's home in Indianapolis' inner city and began fixing it up last year, I consciously wanted it to be a place of hospitality. So I hung a beautiful little ceramic plaque stating "Welcome" at the doorpost.

If I were asked if the idea of a hospitable home has worked, I would probably say "More or less." On the "more" side I have had some great dinners for family and friends. There have been several international visitors who have stayed here: one from Brazil and another from Germany. At some social events here people have met new acquaintances. One visitor said that when she came here, she always felt special.

On the "less" side of my response, the list is longer. Because the house is located in a neighborhood where crime does happen, I am very careful when I open the door after the doorbell rings. A friend asked to stay here for a week with his partner and I turned him down not because of space but because I felt too busy at the time. I spend more time imagining great social moments than in actually implementing them.

Sometimes it seems that my hospitality is more about how I want to understand myself than how I actually practice my relationships with others. How is it possible to practice a hospitable life when fear and busy-ness characterize our society and ourselves?

Being hospitable seems to me all about what happens also when I am away from this house, interacting with others. Is my body language welcoming? Do I listen? Do I "boundary" others outside of my space? How do I respond to persons who are definitely "other"--homeless, panhandlers, etc.?

A few months ago, I was trying to get into my mail box and knocked the "Welcome" plaque off its hook. It fell and cracked into two pieces. I took it into the house and managed to glue it together with Gorilla Glue. It is back on its hook now, a cracked, definitely imperfect "Welcome." It announces to all and to me that, yes, there is a welcome in this house on Tecumseh Street but it is less than perfect: for the time being, a cracked welcome.