Healing of Memories

Steve, a retired therapist now living in Portland, is a dear friend of mine. After many years of developing a thriving practice in Manhattan, in 2002 he wrapped things up and moved to the Northwest where he practices Zen, grows orchids in a greenhouse, enjoys the company of his two sons who live nearby and is, by my own reckoning, the posterboy for healthy retirement.

Several weeks ago, Steve stopped in Indianapolis for a weekend before flying to Cape Town, South Africa, where his major retirement project (for now) occurs. In that city he volunteers about half of each year for an institute that dedicates itself to the healing of traumatic memory among those who suffered deeply from the wounds of apartheid. Its founder, an Anglican priest, had his hands blown off due to a letter bomb sent by pro-aprtheid forces. More than a decade after the welcome end to the brutalities of apartheid in South Africa, many people are immobilized and unable to pick up the pieces that this nazi-like system engendered. As a country, South Africa has "moved on" but countless individuals have found this difficult if not impossible to accomplish.

Now some of this work is attracting attention internationally and the work that originated in South Africa is spreading to Australia where healing of memory involves aborigines who have their own painful, traumatic grievances. Any group that has suffered groupwide injustice at the hands of a dominant group of some kind may not find it all that easy to just pick up and move on. African-Americans and Native Americans retain profound resevoirs of awareness of injustice that their ancestors suffered and that they continue to suffer in many circumstances. And, if we are to believe much of the analysis of the post-9/11 world, a lot of terrorist activity is rooted in bitter memory of prior injustice.

Maggie Gordon, a friend working and living now in Japan, wrote to me this week about how persons of Korean ancestry living in Japan are still considered outsiders after many generations of living on Japanese soil and speaking Japanese. What memories are being engendered in that situation? How can they be healed? Maybe the "truth and reconciliation" approach promoted by Steve's institute and successful in the immediate aftermath of apartheid's demise would work.

Last week I had an experience that reminded me that memory can rear its head in ways that are unsettling and that cause some pain. With a friend I was visiting the historic building that I worked in for many years. It was, prior to my working in it, the site of Butler University, now a major institution of higher education here in Indianapolis. After my organization left this building, it was converted into a series of apartments for lower income senior citizen residents.

While many of my memories in those walls were positive, there were definitely some that were unsettlingly negative. I had pushed these into the back of my conscience. While on the little tour, I asked the building manager to show me the site of my old office. And, incredibly (to me), my door still had my name and title on it. When I asked if it could be changed, I was told that this was a concession to people who wanted to maintain some of the historic character of the building and that, in any case, the door was walled in and on the other side was an apartment.

Since I thought had "moved on" from that place and the memories associated with it, I found the experience of seeing the door very unpleasant and during most of the week it caused me to try to sort out why I feel so negative about the place and much that happened in it. Sorry if I am not more specific than this but if I were to become more specific it would be equally hurtful to some others who worked there and are still around.

But the point I am making here is that the healing of memories is work for all of us. Without trying to put myself in the same "location" as victims of historic injustice, I still have a lot that is negative and hurtful in my life experience that I need to find ways of healing. This is what I learned last week. It made me more attentive to those whose memories of historic injustice still scald and burn. What other memories should I consider that immobilize me and evoke bitterness? Can they ever be healed--really?

Maybe on his way back from South Africa, I can ask Steve to work with me on this!